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About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (June 12, 1913)
Tillamook Headlight, June 12, 1913, o * Moisture, He.t end Mild.w In |„di._ An Appalachian Door. The rainfall tn India, which all takes BE A MAN OF ACTION Bhs Raised All Her Frssh Vegetables. RAVENOUS ESKIMOS. Any one of tact and common sense “My wife raises all her fresh vegeta It Makes You Fsll Faster I n Boston J""'* ’lthln four or Ave months, con tributes largely in giving to tbe cli Don't Fall Into tho “I’ll Do It Some van go as he pleases through the dark bles," remarked the professional funny Than In Mexico City. They Eat and Digest Food That Would est coruer of Appalachia without beiug Day" Habit. I' man as he helped his guest to siring Did you know tbat you “drop" faster mate its peculiar character. The ef Kill an Ordinary Man. and continuous continuous rain beans and tiny young l««ots As the "Some day” is tlie oue day of the molested, says a writer In Outing. In Massachusetts than in Mexico? fect th of heavy J ana rain in in We hear much of American dyspep ( apartment was on tbe top floor of a For instance. If you were to fall from . . ' . s t0 Pro<luce a dampness 3G5 tbat has no place in tbe calendar Tact however, implies the will aud sia. but there is one native race of high building, tbe guest had visions of a twenty story building in Boston you . ' “J qu te ““known in Euroi>e aud is still the most popular day for the insight to put yourself truly In tbe Imagine yourself America that is certainly not troubled hotbeds and greenhouses on tbe roof. making disagreeable engagements. It oilier man's place would dtocend a lot faster than if you ¡artjcU.s * articles of European manufacture is the day tbat every idle dreamer boru. bred, circumstanced like him. it in this respect. The Eskimo defies all | No window boxes producing fresh veg fell from tbe same height tn tbe City The moisture and heat combined set chooses to begin the uionumeutal work implies also the courtesy of doing as the laws of hygiene ami thrives. He etables were in evidence, nnd the innt- of Mexico. that it is to make his fame and for you would be done by if you were in eats until be is satisfied, but Is said ter of fact guest was speculating ns to The principle of this is quite simple, up all kinds of fungoid growth and d«*- tune. that fellow s shoes—uo arrogauce, no never to be satisfied while a shred of the agricultural methods of the funny cay in goods which are quite unaffect even if it does seem a bit startling. It Ills Today is always huddled, crowded, condescension, but man to man on a his feast remains uneonsumed. ed by tbe climatic conditions of Eu man's wife when the buzz of the is merely tbat as one goes toward tbe capacity is limited by the supply and too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry. footing of equal manliness. dumbwaiter called her from the table rope. Mildew attacks textile goods equator the force of gravity gets less by that only. And there are “manners” in tbe rud leather, books and stationery. Arms Today is out of the question. But "More fresh vegetables?" queried tho and less and tbe quickness of descent The Eskimo cannot make any mis- cutlery and metal work require con “some day" lies in tbe far golden haze cst community—customs and rules of funuy mau as site resumed her seat at of a falling body slower; and, while take about the manner of cooking his conduct tbat it is well to learn before stant supervision to preserve them of tbe future that seems to have iu it doubtless you would feel just as un food, since, as a rule, be does not cook I i tbe table. j European furniture of wood Is soon tbe Infinite leisure of eternity. Aud so one goes far afield. For example, "Yes," she responded wearily "Yon It. Nor, so far as the blubber or fat of comfortable falling that distance in [cuivpeau Furniture , sp«>iled by swelling aud shrinkage or we defer till the more convenient sea- « hen you stop at a mountain cabin if tbe arctic animal is concerned, Is the see. she explained, “we're up «'» high one place as in another and tbe results .by borer worms. Perishable goods sou that never comes what ought to uo dogs sound an alarm do uot walk Eskimo concerned about his manner that the market boy never scr n the would be just as disastrous, there are soldered up in tin lined cases are not be done lnstanter. without taking bet-d up to the door and knock. You are of eating it. Indeed, be may be said dumbwaiter high enough. It stops times and things in which tbe differ safe if they have been packed in Eu of our own feelings, our plausible ob expected to call out "Hello!” uutil I not to eat it at all. He cuts it into about two-thirds of the way If I l don't ence is not only perceptible, but worth I fifth raise all we eat tbe people ou rope in wet weather. Tbe beat of the jections, aud permitting tire creeping some one comes out to Inspect you. a notice. None but tbe most iutimate neigh long strips au inch wide and an Inch floor’d get IL I’m afraid. That'» l>hn’a ship’s hold in the Red sea or that of a paralysis of overmuch debate that thick and then lowers the strip down In Boston if you were to fire hori closed iron wagon on the Indian rail- keeps the arm from striking while the bors neglect this usage, and there is I his throat as one might lower a rope ‘raising my own vegetables lok«* but zontally with a rifle and your gun were mighty good reason back of It in a it really Isn't much of a joke after j ways, when the iron may acquire a irou is hot into a well. sixteen feet from the ground the bul These prophecies that begin with land where tbe path to one's door may I ! temperature of 160 degrees lu the sun. Despite all this the Eskimo does not all!”—New York Times. let tired would reach tbe ground one be a warpath. — New York Herald. I will start mildew in the case by the “some day” and a good resolution are suffer from indigestion. He can make ! second after ft had left the rifle. But aid of the moisture within IL—New rarely converted Into the past tense. a good meal off the flesh and skin of The Child. if you were to take that same rifle to York Post. Lured to Destruction. Tbe man of action makes his plans so tlie walrus, provision so hard and grit The most sacred thing In th, com tbe City of Mexico and fire it off the The inhabitants of the Scllly islands berly and takes the facts where he ty that in cutting up the auimal the monwealth and to the comaio-" ealth same distance from tbe earth it would can get them that will help him to de In the old days looked upon the oc knife must be continually sharpened. is the child, whether ft be vc ..•hlld Enlivened the Scene. take one and one-half seconds to reach cide what to do But when bis mind currence of a wreck as a blessing of The teeth of a little Eskimo child or the child of the dull faced m «her of One night tbe father of Kitty Ste the ground. is once made up he goes ahead without providence, and stories are extant will, it is sal«l by those in a position the hovel. The child of the lull «need So it ts easy to see bow when bunt phens, who afterward became Countess telling you much about it He does not about thanks being offered for a wreck to know, meet in a bit of walrus skin mofher may. for all you know, '>e the ing in different parts of the world it i of Essex, went on the stage between boast He is too conscious of his own in various parts of the country. as the teeth of an American child most capable child in the stat Lt Us Some of tlie stories told us by the is necessary to calculate time from | tbe acts and was standing close to tbe fallibility to be cocksure of brilliant would meet In the flesh of an apple, al worst it Is capable of good cl ship Islanders themselves, says Country this same shifting standard of reckon drop scene, with his back to it. when and secure results.—Philadelphia Led though the tilde of the walrus ts from and a useful life If its Intel!! be the stage manager gave the signal for ger. , I Life, show that there was an almost ing.—New York World. half an inch to an inch in thickness quickened and trained. Several of the the raising of tbe curtain. Slowly tbe diabolical cleverness In the way in and bears considerable resemblance to strongest personalities that were born cloth went up. and as it rose the coat which the storm tossed mariner was SAVED BY QUICK WIT. the hide of an elephant The eskimo In North Carolina were men whose NEUTRAL WATERS tails of Mr. Stephens became Involved lured to destruction. For example, it child will bite it and digest It and nev very fathers were unknown. W" have | in the roller, and. feeling himself was common to burn false lights, that River Stretches Where Fishermen Only ¡caught, he began to struggle for free- A Reply That Won Napoleon and th» were calculated to bring the ships on I er know what dyspepsia means.—Har all known two such who hel«l high Duke of Modena. per's Weekly. Waste Their Time. places In church and state. Tre-ldent j doin. His efforts were unavailing. the rocks instead of warning them In tbe French campaign in Italy, in Eliot said a little while ago that the According to old fishermen, there is however, and when the roller reached away, and worse, even, than this was ablest man that he had known in many what might be called neutral ground, the top there was he in full view of which Napoleon I. first began to win done. HIS FACIAL FOLIAGE. or, rather, neutral water, in rivers, the audience, suspended by his coat tbe laurels which subsequently so years’ connection with Harvard uni There was at one time a gang of where there is no use of trying to make tails, bis bead and feet downward, his abundantly crowned bis career, a wreckers, who. when a storm was Its Fate When Living Up to Its Dignity versity was the son of a brick mnsou. young Italian cavalry officer was tak The child, whether It have poor par a catch unless it be tbat some fool fish figure resembling a half open knife. brewing, fastened a bright light to the Was Suggested. with a piscatorial brainstorm snatches Then the stage hands became alive to en prisoner. horns of a cow ami sent her to graze There is a comic artist on a New ents or rich parents, is the mo.-' valua Having serious doubts about bls along the cliffs, to the bewilderment bait as an Insane human might grab the situation and the drop scene was York paper who used to drink a little ble undeveloped resource in t' «tate. safety, it occurred to tbe prisoner to and deception of the sailors. Needless a redhot stove. too much and a little t«xi often, Also I —Walter Hines I’age. ! lowered again amid the boisterous pretend he was a great personage. So to say, this spirit has entirely changed be wore a heavy brown beard of which This neutral water is the part of merriment of the audience, the sounds tbe river where its flow encounters the of hilarity increasing as the victim, al he promised rewards to his captors if now. The Sunflower. be was very proud. they would insure Ills good treatment, “The sunflower," sold a nnturnllsL saline Impregnation of the salt water most black iu the face, landed on his Dm* morning be canto to the office, London's Destructive Atmosphere. of tbe bay or ocean into which it Anal hands aud knees on the stage and crept adding confidentially that he was the showing signs of indiscretions the "is the most deceitful of all plants, for Duke of Modena. The smoke and soot that are always night before. Ills managing editor en It has fooled six nations. Six nations ly empties. With the ebb and tbe flow into the wings.—London Mail. He was exceedingly well cared for, In tlie atmosphere (there nre 6,000 ton» deavored to appeal to his better Judg believe that tho sunflower turns to of the tide the salt water of the bay and early next morning he was called of soot hanging over London every ment ward the sun. nnil so thoroughly are runs up into tbe river for miles, and Queer Eskimo Customs. before Napoleon, who was somewhat day) contain lots of sulphur, and this "Old man." he said seriously, "you’re they deluded that they call It by a on the reverse the fresh water de Every ten years the Eskimos bold puzzled at finding two Dukes of Mo sulphur when tt meets certain sub too old and too smart to be doing tilts name which bears witness to their er scends several miles again to the bay the dance to the dead, when ghosts are dena among his prisoners, for tbe real stances forms sulphuric acid or vitriol. sort of thing It might be all right for ror. Thus the French call the sun leading into tbe salt sea. supposed to come out of their coffins duke was also a prisoner. The real It was the vitriol in the atmosphere a lot of smooth faced kids to spend flower tournesol; the Spanish cnll tt There Is a midway between the salt and visit the Kos-ga, where they are duke angrily asked his counterfeit by that brought the great roof of Cbarlng tin* night over a bar, but you ought to girnsol; tbe Italians cnll It glrasole; and fresh water points, however, that given a feast, and retire well filled for wbat authority he bad assumed the Cross station down with a crash a few remember that you're no longer a kid. the Hungarians cnll It nnptaforgo. very seldom shifts. Around this mid another ten years. Sometimes the food title of Duke of Modena. The young years ago. The engine smoke had eat You ought to try to live up to the dig Each of those words means 'turn to way shad and blue and other salt wa is taken to the burying ground to save officer answered: the sun.’ The English and Americans en away the iron, which was insuffi nity of that beard of yours." ter fish, if they visit at all, will hover the spirits the trouble of moving. “Your grace, the peril of my situa- ciently painted. And some years ago, This last suggestion seemed to throw don’t go quite that far in admitting on the ocean side. On the fresh water When a child is born among tbe island tion yesterday was such that had I before the Loudon underground was the culprit into a brown study. He re themselves to be the plant's dupes. fringe will loiter such fish as inhabit ers it takes the name of tbe last de known a more illustrious title I would electrified, it was a great joke at one tired to bls corner of the art room to They only cnll It sunflower The-, menn currents that are devoid of the saline ceased member of the family, and on not have assumed yours.” of the stations for passengers to go and think it over. In a few minutes he by that name, though, quite as much ingredienL If the fisherman happens it devolves the duty of feeding its fos Tbe reply so pleased both the duke poke umbrellas into a certain iron put on Ills liat ami coat an<1 slipped ns the other names imply The belief to cast bait In this neutral zone be is ter father's spirit The Eskimos have and Napoleon that be was forgiven his girder, w hich at one point was nearly out, and he didn’t come back for two Is general nmong six nations thnt the not likely to get either one kind or tbe a horror of being childless because deceit. as soft as putty. Paint is in such cases weeks either. But within an hour aft sunflower turns with the sun and al other.—New York Sun. their spirits will languish and their the engineer's great standby. In some er his departure the managing editor ways faces tbe luminary. As n matter name be forgotten. As they say: Brittany's Hair Harvest. ways paint is more powerful than iron. heard from him. A messenger boy of fact, there Is only one flower that Obeyed the Dream. “S'pose no tnik-a-nina (children)—ghost It is at Easter time tbat tbe curious brought in a pasteboard box such ns turns or keeps with the sun—nnmely. Life Is sometimes saved by dream plenty hungry.” Often an Eskimo will “hair harvest" of Brittany Is "reaped" Many Ixmdon buildings might be said florists use to pack flowers in. The the sun spurge.” warnings. Take the case of Dr. Har beggar himself, giving a great feast in by the traveling merchants, who go to be practically held together by paint, managing editor cut tho wrappings particularly railway stations. — Pear vey. the celebrated discoverer of the honor of bis illustrious ancestor, but from village to village buying the beau I and opened the box. Ancient Mural Decoratlone. circulation of the blood. When he was he gains great renown thereby and tiful hair for which the Breton belles son's Weekly. There was nothing inside except n It is probable that tbe earliest wall a young man he set out from London plnces all his visitors under lifelong heavy brown beard, which bail been pnlntiugs were those of the Egyptians are famous. This is later destined to Lang Willie’s Retort. to go to Padua, in Italy, the seat of obligations to him.—Wide World Maga be made up into “transformations.” A Scotch caddie is almost certain to newly sheared off the owner's face, Those people employed a distemper the famous university where he wish zine. "fringes" and other mysterious ar be a shrewd observer of men and with one lone rosebud reposing in tho containing dissolved gum, and their ed to study. When he got to Dover rangements with which ladies less things, and he Is frequently gifted with center of It.—Philadelphia Saturday principal pigments were white chalk The Poor Little Girl In the Story. the governor refused to let him enter Evening Post. abundantly endowed by nature make a sharp tongue of bis own. a vegetable yellow, ochera, Ethiopian “Time was.” said Lucinda, "that the bls packet to cross the channel, but up their shortcomings In the matter of cinnabar, blue powdered glass stained laing Willie was for many yenrs a I declined to give any reason. The next poor heroine tn tbe story when she had An Old Time Playful Prisoner. “woman's crowning glory." The cli well known figure on tbe St. Andrews The I with copper and charcoal black day news arrived at Dover tbat the a bid to a party got out her one poor Over a century ago there occurred in walls of Assyrian and Babylonian ents of the hair buyers are chiefly golf links On tbe occasion of Louis I packet had been lost with every soul old white dress and wore that It was country lasses In tbe remoter districts, Kossuth's visit to St. Andrews a pub London what the Annual Register call dwellings were treated In much the on board. Then the governor explain old. and it was worn and shabby, but who are only too pleased to sell their lic dinner was given tn his honor, and ed “a most unparalleled atrocity." It satno way, aud the practice of painting she let out a tuck or two, cleaned it ed his strange conduct He said that tresses tn order to obtain a little money Willie applied for a ticket to the bailie was only the theft of a pocket hand on walls coated with plaster was cer he had had a dream of overwhelming and pressed ft and put on a new bow. to spend nt the Easter fairs. The “bar- ; who was in charge of the arrange kerchief from a pocket, but the circum tainly In vogue In Assyrln. It has lieen force, In which he was forbidden to and in tbat poor dress thus refurbish vest." however. Is said not to tie so ments. The worthy man curtly re stances of the deed explain tbe vehe believed thnt the Greeks iind«Tstood allow a young man. whose face ap e«l she was the belle of the ball. good as formerly, ns with tlie spreml fused tbe application, saying to Willie mence of this denunciation. Four men true fresco work, apparently on the peared to him, to enter the boat I "But the poor girl couldn’t do that of education and the love of display thnt it was "no pines for the likes of were on their trial for assaulting a man strength of n phrase occurring In Plu now. No, no. In these days she would When Harvey presented himself the in his house at Ponder's End. putting tarch. "to paint on a wet ground " Vi many girls prefer to keep their hair.— him to be at the dinner." governor recognized the face seen in simply have to lie in the fashion, and him In fear and stealing from him. ami truvius also speaks of a wet ground Wide World Magazine. "No for tbe likes of me!" was Wil everybody nowadays, rich and poor, his dream. one of them relieved tlie tisliiim of the and says that colors placed upon a lie's Indignant rejoinder “ I've been In seems to have good clothes, too—goo«L tbe company of gentlemen from 11 to trial, which lasted eight hours, by pick surface so prepared are permanent, When the Waltz Wee New. as well as In the style. 1 don't know Daniel O’Connell. 4 o'clock rnaist days for tbe last thirty Ing the pocket of one of the turnkeys which certainly Is characteristic of I have a letter in my possession writ how they do IL but they do. Oh. my. After a dinner at laird Dungarvan's. as li«* stood In tlie dock. An official bad yea r. and that's mair tbao you can true fresco work.—ilarjier's. Lady Morgan writes in her diary: I no' The poor girl couldn't wear that ten by a friend to my great-grand say.” the presence of mind to order Hie res mother in the year 1817. nt Christmas read met the redoubtable Dan O'Connell. old dress now. But I love to i toration of the handkerchief, anil the Caustic Whistler. time, in which the lady expresses her prisoner had enough presence of mind Dan is not brilliant in private life, not alsiut her io tbe story."—New York Blowing Out an Egg. Most Whistler anecdotes have the grave disapproval of the “modern” ten to obey "with the most careless Indlf even agreeable. He is mild, silent, Iro- 1 Sun. To blow out an egg make a small inevitable caustic note. One day an dency toward rapid dancing Tbe para ference." but tlie court, we rend. “ were assumlng. apparently absorbed and an hole In each end. bore tbe holes with English student was smoking a pipe graph runs ns follows: Gasoline Evaporates Rapidly. pull horror struck.” Justice, however, utter stranger to the give and take ' my. “I was yester evening at your Cousin a large darning needle or hatpin, press ed Itself together sufficiently to sen when Wldstler entered the One pint of gasoline left In an nn- charm of good society. 1 said so to "You should be very careful, ue ob Betty’s, where I was much struck with ing steadily, but not loo hard, and tence all four men to death. Lord Clanri -arde. who replied: “If you covered basin in a room nt a normal or served. "You know you might get In tbe new fashioned dances, which seem twisting tbe point round and round knew bow I found him this morning! average temperature will entirely I terested In your work and let vour ed. to me at any rate, to be out of until a small hole has been punctured; The Changing Death Rate. His hall, the very steps of his door, evaporate within* twenty four hours. i pip» go out” Then there was a keeping with the propriety and mod then enlarge the hole slightly with the The last generation has progressed crowded with his clientele. He had a As gasoline vapor Is denser than the esty which we look for In young ladies sharp point of your scissors, being remarkably in saving the babies, but Hcotch student who succeeded In get surrounding air, unless disturbed by word or a written order for each, then of our class. I can only regret the dis careful not to cra«'k the shell lu doing has let the middle aged people die. ting Whistler to examine his sketches, hurried off to the law courts, thence active air currents. Its presence in the i one of which was an old pea*nnt wom Make the hole In the large end appearance of those 'mazurkas' and 'ga so room may be detected for many hours Below tlie age ‘of ten the denth rate to the Improvement society and was of the shell a trifle larger tliau the one an. whose face was Illuminate«! by a vottes' ns well as the 'minuets' and One pint of gasoline will make 200 cu has been diminishing. Above the age the guest here today. Two hours be huge candle. He examined all the hope that these new dances or 'valses,’ In the small end. Hold the egg over of forty the death rate has been Ln bic feet of explosive mixture, and this fore be was making that clever but a bowl, put tbe small end to your lips sketches carefully and then remarked: mixture Is seven times more powerful as 1 think they are named, will quick at least In America. No In creasing, violent speech to Mr. la Touch, and “How beautifully you've painted the ly disappear from respectable society.’’ and blow steadily until all tbe egg has crease la reported from Europe. than gunpowder.—Popular Mechanics. now no wonder tbat be looks like an run out of the shell. candlel Good morning, gentlemen." —Letter in Loudon Telegraph. Intemperance In eating, drinking and extinct volcano.” Familiar. working, especially working, is the Hardly Ev»r. His Closs Call. Not Him. Yeast—Did your wife read the riot "Other things being equal,” sb» ask most probable explanation of this po A Literary Cynic. "I had a narrow escape yesb-.’fay “Has my husband been in here?" In collar and unfortunate mortality. act to you last night? "Some day.” «aid tbe novelist "I’m quired a woman of tbe bartender. ed. "don't you tblnk a girl baa a better Crimsonbeak—No. The nation has made great advances noon.” chance than a widow bas to get mar going to write something big—some "How's that?” "Why, you thought she would when “He's a tall, red faced man. no over- In community hygiene. It 1" time the ried r thing that will make tbe world remem "Four of us ate lunch together and coat, soft bat.” you got In late, didn’t you?' people begun to advance a little In "Perhaps, ” be replied, "but a widow ber me." each of us Insisted on paylt a the “A man answering that description “Oh, no She doesn't have to read it personal hygiene. — Chicago Journal. “Ah. yes," bis friend replied, “but to me now; she knows It by heart.”— got a bottle of whisky here about ten hardly ever gives a man a chance to check.” consider other things equal.”—Chicago when are you going to do it?” “Well?” minutes ago.” Yonkers Statesman. Lookad Lika It. Record Herald. "Just as soon as I have turned out "For a minute or two It looked as “How big a bottle?" The small but observant son of a •nongb trash to make me independ “Half a pint, ma'am." Comforting. New York traveling salesman notice«! though I had overdone ths thing aud Reason Why. ent"—Chicago Re«?ord-Herald. “Some other man,” said the woman. when bls father came borne that he the others were going to let mo do it" She—Here's a story of a man who "Too haven't many relatiVM, have had bad a front tooth filled with gold —Detroit Free Press. bartered bis wife for a horse. You -St Louis Post-Dispatcb. yooT" Primeval Raproaches. wouldn't swap me for a horse, would while he was away. “Worlds of them." Adam and Eve were leaving tbe gar yon. darling? He-Of course not Rut Foreign French. Hi* Limit. "Pop.” ««Id the boy. “you've got “ 1 never meet any of them st yonr den of Eden. “Learn to ajieak French. Then “And before wd were married you yonr tooth buttoned on wltb a collar I'd hate to have any one tempt me bouse." "It's all yonr fault" said Adam. button, haven’t you?"—New York Sun. things won’t cost so much tn Pari».” wltb a good motorcar.—London Tit said you would be willing to die for "No; they've all got more tnooey “It Isn't either." replied Eve. "It’s "Ob, you can't make ’em tblnk you me." Bits. ____ __ than I have. "—Judge yonr fault. Yon ought to have bad us are a Frenchman.” | “I know It” Made Them Laugh. put under civil service so we couldn't “No, but sometimes yon can make Corrected. I “And yet you refuse to beat the "My friend»," said a politician the Bound te B« Misaad. bo turned out”—Washington Star. other day. with a burnt of Ingenuous >m think you are a Itnaalnn or a Hpan- Teacher-If I should say. “Yonr two rugs.” I ’ m "Will anybody intra me when lard.”-Washington Herald. eloquence. “I will tie honest”— sisters are coming." would tbat be cor- I "Sure! Dylog la my limit”—Hou» gone ?" Not Exactly Ploying. The terrific outburst of applause ton Post rect? "Plenty of people There’s th» piano which followed this remark entirely Bellows — Does your daughter play By ths Card. Jobhny—No. ma'am. I only bare one man with bls dollar a week, the ency upset the point which the orator was on the piano’ Gibbs—I say. old chap, what Is meant Spoiled. sister.—Exchange. clopedia man with his dollar and the shout to Introduce. —1-oodon Telegraph Follows (in tone« of deep disgust by the expression “ 'to I spesk by th» “His popularity is «polling him.” Insurance agent wltb bis 60 cent*."— No. str. Rhe works on it. pounds on It. card?" Dlblm-Oh. one do*« tbat when “ Wbat'» tbe matter now?" Why They Fail. rakes It. scrapes IL jumps on it rolls one exclaims, “Tlie deuce!”—New York "He's got so tbat he can't enjoy a Kansas City Journal. The Trouble. It takes some people so long to be over on it. but there's no play about sure they are right that they never get banquet on lew he's at tbe speakers' Discontented Twin — Pretty rotten Telegram. Th» Poor Walter. it, str^London Telegraph lurk on me! I shouldn't so mneb mind time to go abend.—St Paul Pioneer table."-Detroit Free Pre«« Old Isdi (who has been lunching haring a fare like mine If ft wasn't so Only Safe Way. Press. _____ _ with her aoni — Here. William, you left frigga—Can yon keep a secret Ts Ost Rid of Him. Always take the short rot. and that beastly like yours. — Ixindon Punch this quarter on the table by mistake. your wife? - Briggs - Not un.ee» I Lord Algy—Really, don't you know. We must make our election between h the rational one Therefore say and I cawu't live without you Geraldine economy and liberty or profusion and do everything »«-cording to tbe sound Ift's lucky I saw It. because the waiter Empty men are the trumpet« of their sce rct the fact Unit I bive une - Md bis ejs va It- Ufa. tun Tra user ipL — Well, perhaps papa will pension y«i servltod<—Tbotnaa Jeffersox own deed».-kla»singer. sot reason.-Marcus Aurallus. tor Ufa.-Judge. FORCE OF GRAVITY. I